忆在二零一零

三年前（2007尾声）曾经写过的一篇回忆，看过那篇文章回想起的时候才知道原来发生过那么多的事情。时隔三年，也才发现我在年尾或年头不曾记录一年来的心情。2009年，刚从台湾回来。2008年，却是忙着准备考试的一年。2010年，应该就是忙工作，可是我还希望我有时间整理自己的心情。也发现自己还蛮喜欢看回自己每一次的原创，也许这就是比较自恋吧！哈哈。



以下文章纯粹创作：



我

你我

曾经相遇

现在还好吗

一年前一年后

时间慢慢的飞逝

成长中的喜怒哀乐

无法避免深夜里的悲

可忙的借口却挂在嘴边

疲惫厌倦却还是笑口常开

开心欢乐是一生里面的宗旨

爱没有如果你不需要假设什么

泪水是在坚强中学习不让它滑落

学习成长只是人生必然经过的道路

只能深深的相信明天就是未来的到来

没有对不起也没有错对的世界中度过的

有一种落寞的温暖是否还一样存在呢

一些回忆是留不住但也带不走停留

跌跌撞撞只寻找最初梦想和天堂

快乐的开始不该是悲伤的结束

煎熬的生活还是一样要度过

是否能度过还是一个迷惑

挡风挡雨的你是否还在

还是伤感是一种形容

一年后是否还一样

二零一零结束了

只希望会更好

更加的完美

更加开心

只留下

美好

愿

Outstation

Someone told me that he not really like outstation because it is more tiring compared to normal work. Also, your feeling will totally not the same as you go to travel. However, I like to go outstation although it is tiring for the time being. It is because we can go different places for free although we have to work day and night. We can go somewhere that we will not go normally if we go travel. Besides, I had no money to go travel. Therefore, there is no reasons for me do not want to go outstation since I like to travel so much.

This time is my second assignment for outstation. First assignment for outstation, I went to Indonesia for one week. It was a great experience for me although it was super tired as I was fall asleep during working. For my second outstation, I went to Pahang for estate visit in Bera, Triang, Rentam, Mengkarak and Palong. We need to go there for 2 weeks. It should be a great expedition.

I had passed by so many estates in Pahang since young. I like the palm oil because the view is very beautiful along the road. However, I have no chances to go in before this. And now, I finally have chance to go to visit. I will look forward to the experience in this coming two weeks although this is not my first time have a near distance contact with palm oil or rubbers trees.
The only thing which I hope is I still manage to online in these two weeks.

KSP Night

Our KSP night had been organized in one world hotel. I never plan to go to this night, but I never regret to go to the night as well. The reasons why I feel like not really want to join are because I do not like to drink as most of the function is like this. When I reach the ball room, all the people are quite strange to me. Is this my problem?

I am very surprise when my friend called me that night to take photo. I never met her after our convocation. I tried to date her for few times but fail at the end. I was so happy when I met her outside the ball room. The friendship will never end although we did not meet for sometimes.

The programs were not special because only singing, fashion shows and lucky draws. I was not very lucky because I had long time never get any prize for lucky draws. I took quite a lot photos with different people that night. However, I was disappointed when I saw most of the photos because the photos were very blur or not clear.

After the dinner, many of the people dance in front of the stage. However, I never thought that I want to join. It was not my type to rock anywhere.

I went back around 11.20pm. I almost want to cry when I lost my way in 1u. I can only blame myself why my direction sense is so bad. I used more than 30 minutes to find the shop or the places which I came out from the parking. I was scare and felt helpless that time. End up, the security asked me where I want to go because he saw me for the second times after 10 to 20 minutes. Also, I had to thank to the security because bring me to the car park. I had walked one round of 1u from the beginning to another end and turn back to the beginning. My parking was very near to the hotel, but end up I walk very long distance to reach there. It was similar when I went to the hotel from the car park because I also walk to another end before I find my way to the hotel. I think I will never forget the night walk inside 1u.

It was a memorable night for me because of the lost.

Surprise

I am really very surprise that my friend was broke with her boyfriend. I get the news from another friend, I need to thank to her to inform me about this. I had not met my friend more than a year after she graduated. I still remembered that she want me to go to her wedding dinner in year 2010 in Penang. They planned their wedding on 121212 which mean is 12 December 2012. After graduated, my friend moved to Penang and settled down there because her boyfriend hometown is there.

After sometimes, the things did not go very smoothly. I decided to call my friend at night when I heard the news. However, I forgot about it when I was too concentrating on my works. When I realized about it, the time already passed 12 midnight. I called my friend the next day at night while I was still working. I felt relieved when my friend told me that she is fine and will move back to KL next month.

I must control my emotions when I am talk to my friends in public places. I forgot that others actually can hear my conversation. It was luckily that I did not say others bad things. If not, I will be on trouble. However, others asked me that am I quarreled with someone or discussed something that cannot be solved in the moment with others?

I am surprise why the things can be like this. I am scare about all this. I just want a simple life and a happy life. I try to enjoy the work although it was not in the reality. I hope I will not change in the future and keep a happy mind during the work as others say this is impossible.

Comments

The time seems like pass quite fast as I had worked for 2 months and 1 week in the firm. The tears came out with no reasons after I had read my friend post. She did her laundry at 2.30am and washed her toilet at 3am in the morning. How about me? I thought I can keep the soup until the next day, but end up I had totally forgot about it when I reach home at 3am the next day. Therefore, I should throw and clean everything before the next day is coming. I do my laundry at 2am is look like quite normal to me already, but only for those shirt which cannot be put into the washing machine. However, it is quite a sad case that I had to wash my clothes with washing machine at night as well.

Sometimes, I really think that I want to be away from the stress. I try my best to enjoy the works and forgot about the stress. I thought I can do it but I fail to do it. At home, I always fall asleep in front of my pc. At last, I plan to sleep at 10 something because I do not think that I can stand it anymore, but end up I slept at 3 something in the morning and choose to continue my work.

Also, I thought that I can stand with the speed of umobile. I decided to buy ‘yes’ when I am really impatient to wait for the slow connection. It was time consuming and wasted out time to wait for the page to load or even cannot connect to msn. I like the feeling when the internet is consider fast enough. However, it needs to be paid even more compare to what I had used now. I think I will never regret to change it. However, I will go for unifi in future to save more.

第九届全国大专与毕业生象棋个人赛

9届的大专赛里面，MMU办过了4次大专赛，可是这一次却连办了3次大专赛。因为前两次的比赛，我认识了很多不同的棋手，唯一的不一样是，我这一次是以参赛者的身份出席这次的比赛，不真的不晓得我是不是真的非常喜欢象棋，还是纯粹去凑热闹的，还是真的因为责任感而回去。以前我不会很勇敢的参赛，可能是输不起吧，也很怕自己因为输棋而当场哭了。这一次竟是去挑战自己的忍耐度和坚强度，要勇敢承受失败的挫折，我破了我自己的记录，竟然是全场输完，我才发现原来我还承受得住失败的成绩，虽然有几度是想哭的。没有失败过，没给别人提醒过的小孩，怎么会更加的成熟和坚强呢？

我们差不多有10个人从kl一起去马六甲比赛，我们算是占了比赛棋手的1/5，因为只有48人参赛，可是我们却有6个人得奖，冠军也是属于我们其中一人的，他们真的很不错。比赛结束后，我们就去庆祝了一番。

在这一次的比赛，我学习了很多。原来成为比赛中的唯一一个女棋手也有奖拿的，虽然我是名落孙山。一个特别精神奖，我得到了一副相当美丽的棋盘和棋子，参赛真的需要很多的勇气，毕竟自己的棋艺也不是很强，也有相当久的时间没有下棋了。裁判长也指导了我很多不同的布局，引导我下错的地方，我相信我自己还有很多的进步空间。时间配合得到的话，我还蛮感兴趣的去学象棋。如果有一天，能代表也算是不错的荣誉，只不过是我想太多了。平时懒得用脑的我，象棋真的让我学会怎么去用脑。我感觉到我跟以前比起来我进步了很多，至少我还能背出我走过差不多有80%的棋步，可是记忆力竟然只能够维持在一场之后。想回以前，若叫我复盘，简直就是要了我的命，我根本不会记得我走过什么。

每一次的象棋比赛都有一个共同点，棋手都很喜欢把奖杯送给我。每一年都有一个吧！或许对每一次都参加比赛的棋手来说，奖杯没有什么纪念价值，钱比较实际的。什么时候才轮到我自己亲手赢回一个呢？或许真的要等到我很有毅力的时候了。

感谢你们安排交通载我下去和回来，还好你们没有让我驾车下去，因为我好像不够精神驾车去马六甲，谢谢你们让我有个愉快的星期六和日，至少也锻炼我用脑下棋。

Long hours not equal nightmare

Last time during my training, I always thought that work late or during the weekend or public holiday is my nightmare. However, I realized that I am wrong now. I not really have a nightmare, although I had broken my record for the time when I reached home compared to my training last time.

I think it is because of my mentality not well prepared during my training. It was a big change to what I can imagine it that time. I should prepare my mentality well for my peak period next year. Will it be very scary? If not, it may be my nightmare or super stress that time. Whenever I had enough time to prepare it, I do not think that it will be a problem to me. After gone through the tougher life, it will be nothing special already.

How am I learning everything in a shorter time period? In reality, my enthusiasm looks like not comparative to my sleepiness. I must adapt to the long working hours' environment. I must minimize my error or mistake in my working as we must distribute an error free deliverable. I hope I can do it and must do it well.

Buffer dinner

My small network group organized for a buffer dinner at Lemon Garden, Shangri-la hotel. It is my first time went to Shangri-la hotel. The hotel is really nice and the food can consider not bad. Only five of us turn out for the dinner because our partner has a meeting and another went back to Melaka due to some reason. It is quite a surprise that our group consists of all girls, and we gossip a lot.

In our group, 2 persons are going to resign soon. It is no doubt that our industry is much mobilized. People are quite important as we have long working hours. We stay together with our teammate is more than we saw others friends or family. One of them stated a very good statement which is we cannot change our work, stress, dateline and so on, but we can change our choice. We can choose to work happily or moody face. For me, I will choose to work happily. Laugh and smile can increase the motivation towards our work and help us to release some of the stress. Laugh as much as we can as long as we are not crying.

For now, I have to make sure myself is efficiency enough to afford the work load because I think that I am not really that efficient. Am I really not efficient? I am really no idea about it. Sometime, I cannot accept the slow speed of the work. I must train myself to be more efficient. I hope I can do it. I cannot imagine the situation when we will face our peak period as I have not yet gone through it. Is it really that bad compared to what I imagine? I will know it after few months. I hope it will be fine for me. I may only be able to make sure I have a healthy life, so that I will not be sick during that time because I do not think that we have time for us to rest in a sickness.

A weekend

Since I started my work until now, I had passed 7 weekends. This weekend can only consider is the first week that I enjoyed the most at kl. I had long time did not go to shopping and buy new cloths. In my memory, the very last time should be at least 10 to 11 months ago. I like to shop if my mood is good and not in a rush time. Or else, I am rather not to shop any.

I went to Times Square with another friend at Saturday to meet my friend who came back to Malaysia from Singapore. Unfortunately, we not manage to meet each other at the end due to the time constraint. This is not the first time that I want to meet someone around bukit bintang, but end up with nothing. It is because we busy shopping until we forgot each others. That day, we came together and separate in the shopping mall for different things. It is quite enjoy shopping alone.

On Sunday, I went to the Terry Fox run which organized by Cancer Research Association. It is a charity run at Taman Tasik Titiwangsa for around 3.5km. It is my first time went to an event for a run. Normally, I am not physically fit, but I want to train myself to become physically fit. I was lucky because I meet someone that I know in the run. If not, I think I had to run alone. For the run, it needed a lot of mentality power to support us to run to the end. However, I think that I am not air to run constantly. During the run, there were so many people over there. It is a good experience for me and my main purpose is going to exercise.

因为有了你

一场毫无防备的大雨，扰乱了女孩心中的平静。一颗雨滴就穿破了女孩所有的防御，没有的防备女孩更加的感觉孤单。生活中的难题就如雨声共存的雨季，凡事要避免也避免不到的东西，就好像雨季的到来并不是女孩能控制的。

孤单总是有漆黑的夜晚来做伴，在黑暗中寻找不到孤单的踪影，女孩的安心，但女孩是多么的期望有你的陪伴。可是浪漫却总是没有你的陪伴，脑海中的你却不在女孩的身边，女孩失望是因在凌晨中寻找不到你的身影，只好默默的让孤单陪在身边。有多少人会期盼无数个难熬的日夜呢？在难熬的日夜里，女孩只是在等待彩虹的醒来，女孩常说这样的日子还是挺不错的，至少是过得充实的。

因为有你，多么坎坷的日子，对女孩而言都不是难题。因为有你，生活再煎熬，女孩都不会害怕。无论东西再难，生活再苦，时间再长，女孩心中还是一样的美丽。女孩不会为了狂风暴雨而感到不安，因为女孩总是深信你会伸出援手，助女孩渡过难关，这也是旁人永不了解的地方，温暖的幸福就是如此的清晰，只望这一切都不是女孩的幻想。

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

歌名：因为有了你(合唱)

歌手：吴翼男

专辑：我听说



那是一场毫无防备的大雨

他的身影扰乱了我们平静的森林

一颗雨滴就穿破我们所有人的防御

那是一个雨声共存的雨季

孤单总有漆黑的夜来做伴

浪漫却总是没有你陪伴

无数个难熬的日夜有多少人期盼

在明明中等待彩虹的醒来



因为有了你　

如今的森林才那样美丽

无论风再狂　雨再大

我们都不会害怕

因为有了你　

温暖的幸福才如此清晰

无论怎样的坎坷

都不是难题