怎么样的心情

当写废话的时候，还是觉得中文比较有亲切感。除了“累”，我也不知道要用什么字来形容我现在的心情，也许是我的语文差，但是眼前所见的真的是事实吗？

以前还很天真的回家不用工作，但现在的我却每一次回家都用两架电脑。甚至觉得两架电脑也不是很够用，为了工作而工作，少了一种乐趣，什么东西都没有时间去想，怎么样的整理自己的心情也忘记了。没完没了的压力，真的让我透不过气，真的很想哭很想去逃避，可是我能吗？

这一切一切的东西，我也不想是事实，却发生了在我身上。我以为我能做得到，以前的期待已经演变成现在的不期望，还是我太过娇生惯养，导致抵挡不住这样的事务呢？紧张、害怕已经成为了我的知己，每一天所面对的到底是不是我需要面对的呢？这是不是所谓的成长呢？

以前的发泄如今也不再感觉到以往的效果，累上加累，又有何用呢？日夜的徘徊，也不再有期待的明天。

Fun things during training

Audit is not a fun thing indeed. However, I can learn a lot of things during audit. I also can see a lot of different things which others maybe no change to see about it. It has a chance to release me from that job, but I choose not to release because I want to see the power plant. I think we have no change to visit a plant if we not going to work there or go with a study tour or others way. It is so excited to see about it. It is a type of motivation for me to work harder. We can know the power plant in deep and wide. We also have chance to visit the whole power plant. It is really fun for me to do this job when got this type of chance. It is no doubt that I like more on machine, robot and others physic related things compared to accounting.

An audit life is a no life version. Why I say so? It is because we got a lot of things to complete in a limited time. We need to work even we go back home or during public holiday. Sometimes, I really lazy to do it but I still need to face the reality. It is stress if we not really know how to do it and tired to find the answer due to the time consuming.

Ganbatte.

Last day before public holiday

This is a day which I think I can go back home earlier compared to this two week because this is last day already. However, I am wrong because I only back home from office at the latest time since my training. I go back home at 1am but that time still got few colleague around doing their job in that particular floor. Is this type of work is called audit life? I still struggled to pursuit myself to become an auditor after I graduate. Am I made the right decision? Can I suitable myself into this type of job?

For an intern, I know I can actually choose whether I want to do it or not. Why I choose something different from others? I stay because I want to know what I done wrong and I do not know the way back to drive back home. Sometimes, I really think that why I so weak. A simple way also cannot remember and really scare when I get lost especially when the car run out petrol. Maybe do not have so much confident about myself. Ganbatte.

Unbelievable

Is my memory lost or it really happened to me? Why my t-shirt missing? The t-shirt is not so beautiful and just a normal shirt design by one of the activities in my university life. Am I misplaced it or I forgot to wash it? However, I really cannot believe my bad memory. Therefore, this fact cannot be verified.

Is someone took it? Is the Pj area so dangerous? I can believe if underwear is missing but it hard to believe that the reason why a normal black color t-shirt is missing. Can someone tell me the fact? Why this can happen to me? I do not want to care about this because is not valuable but just cannot believe this will be a fact. Haiz. I really had nothing to say about this.

Is it a nightmare or fun?

I think I should change my blog to English version to train my lousy English language but sometimes it quite difficult to express the feeling. I will try my best to do so. I already had my training for 3 months. Is it fun? It can say so because I had learned a lot of things. However, this is my first time work during the weekend. It maybe spoiled my rest time but when think others way round, it can be different because I really learn a lot. For the first time, I feel the real stress of the working life. I had the first working experience to work day and night. It could be a nightmare of the overload work for me or it could be a new challenge for me to train myself. Why it could be overload? In real fact, the work is not much and just because of the slow processing of the work. The slow processing of the work is because I take a long time to understand what I should do for that job. Therefore, I should treat it as a challenge to increase my own ability to adapt to the real life of auditor. I must use to the real environment when come out to work. So, it should be a new challenge for me but not a nightmare to me. I will try my best to get all this things done.

路

路是人走出来的，这是真的吗？明知道那条路难走，为什么还要去走呢？想问自己为什么，心中却好像没有 一个肯定的答案。就好像明明知道这段路有pasar malam会塞车，为什么不走另外一条更好走的路呢？又不是远很多，为何有的选择的时候，还是选择一条难走的？固执还是想挑战自我，这一切真的不知道是些什么。

明明知道会计的生涯是no life的，还是去选择。往往的并不是觉得长时间的工作不好，而是一旦你努力把一样一点头绪都没有的东西做好时，却才知道这一切一切都是错误的，浪费了那么多的时间是很无谓吗？可能这还不是最惨的。知道了错就能改，不知道错反而更加的痛苦。就好像我们读书，如果整本书我们知道我们那一面不会，我们就能专学那一面，可是如果说不知道哪里不会的话，能做什么呢？在一个缺乏时间的时候，需要怎么开始呢？不知道自己不会哪里的时候，对我来说是最痛苦的，虽然两种可能性都曾发生过，一是什么都是熟能生巧了，二却是一片空白，什么都不会，因为当什么都不会的时候，怎么可能知道应该有哪里是不明白的呢？这一种痛到底是怎么的痛？更惨的是当不知道的时候，还有人问你到底不明白什么，应该怎么答才好呢？

想哭却好像哭而无泪，三个多月了，第一次上班不想带隐形眼镜，原因是太累了，不是身体的累，而是精神上的累，结果这份工作就成为我第一次上班没带隐形眼镜，午餐只花了短短的几分钟吃，这真的是第一次。自由自在了那么久，我到底能说什么呢？心中的泪水还是要啃回进肚里，总是相信自己能承受的到，可是想深一层，我真的能做到吗？

累还是要继续，就好像今天在回家的路途中看见 一条蛇，在马路中间，我是多么的害怕把它压死，它躺在路上，可是却升了上来，短短的几秒，却能到不知所措的情况了。还好是驾车，如果走路不是惨了吗？虽然从小看蛇看到大，可是看到还是害怕的。偏僻还是抵不住心中的慌乱。学的东西跟这一切能成正比吗？学会了会有成就感，可是错了就从来，那样的无助，又能与谁相求相助呢？

压力

工作了三个月，第一次觉得压力，以前还说有人告诉我要做什么，而现在呢？好像有点感到害怕了，丢了东西给我做后，没人告诉我需要怎么做，这个还是我的第一次做这一些东西，叫天不应，叫地不灵的感觉也不知道要如何是好。

要想自己应该要怎么做，真的有点的难度。问人的时候，等了五分钟才告诉我这是什么，让我感觉到真的很害怕。虽然说是对我好，也学到很多东西，学会自立吧！压力是压力，只能希望自己挨得过，加油吧！

又一次的失踪

第一天驾车就工作，但却好像失水准了，我的天阿！早上一开车车就响个不停，到底是因为什么事情呢？我真的不知道，它能不能不这样对我呢？真的很累，但好像也没有什么办法。

顺顺利利去到client的地方，在klang，很顺利而且没有走错路，虽然一路上都有点的害怕，担心不知道会去到哪里。

平静的日子还以为真的那么的顺利，还以为7点多就能回到家，竟然在自己的taman失踪了，我到底为什么每一次都是在自己的地方失踪阿？？结果就必须兜多了半小时才到家。除了害怕应该还是害怕了，是不是能怪自己平时出街没看路呢？？都是自己惹的祸，又能怪谁呢？

回到家饿到没力了，还以为能煮，然后马上有的吃，怎么知道还没开始屋友就跟我说没有煤气了，怎么那么的祸不单行阿？要出去吃，结果却感觉到自己太差了，为什么不学好parking呢？？到底能怪谁呢？side parking，简直就是惨不忍睹，自己也没有眼看了。想到明天去client的地方时还要reverse parking，也许从家里去client的地方不难，但是最难的好像是parking。只能加油好了。

两张warning

到底是自己差还是倒霉呢？一天里面竟然收到两张warning，要怪自己不会parking还是幸运呢？若不是因为工作关系，也不会去借车。一早就看到车有了一张字条，不用想都知道应该是自己的错，想也不用想就去把车驾到另外一个地方，觉得还相当的满意，然后就去上班了。

担心了一天，回到来没有发生什么特别的事情，可是这边上了楼准备吃东西却听到邻居的说话声，原来还是我阻碍交通，我的天啊，我真的感觉到很彷徨，有点的不知所措，还是我们需要一点的阿Q精神呢？这样是不是会好过一点呢？

两张warning应该算很好了，如果是打爆镜子，那么就是不堪设想了。是不是应该说是非常非常幸运呢？我该怎么办才好呢？不过我倒希望我真的不会失踪就好了，一个路痴真的一次就能把路记熟吗？另外一种接受挑战的考验，只能默默的期待不会出错，不然的话我也不知道我能怎么办了。到时候是不是叫天不应，叫地不灵呢？为一次的考验加油。

盆菜

这是我第一次吃盆菜，我的manager在sg buloh请吃我们。一层一层的肉和菜，算是不错，只不过好像还蛮多肥肉的，第一次看到，真的是大开眼见。整队人，10个人去吃，9个女生1个男生，不过去那天，有一个人我是不认识的，但是还是吃得愉快，有说有笑似的。

吃东西是其次，整班朋友吃完后去玩，真的是乐在其中了。第一次玩跳舞机和用remote玩游戏，有打乒乓、pool、射击等等的，还真的不错。另外一种体验，需要手脚都镇定，但是还是很多时候动作太大，remote已经不在接收范围了。

这三个月以来，我第一次创下了三点多才回到家睡觉的日子。不过，就好像一个朋友所说的，有的玩真的能连睡觉都忘记了，虽然还是相当的累。虽然是同事，但是忘记了工作，就只是尽情的玩，多么的爽快，少了一份的压力。

原本也不会那么的迟回家，只可惜下了一场大雨，导致差不多每一个人都要睡着了。不过也有一个愉快的晚上，还好有跟他们去玩。^_^

一个工作结束也有一个愉快的记忆，也认识了一班朋友，还是真的不错。